(click to hear the water lapping again!)

Peace! (This is really just a page of personal advice for anybody who might be feeling a little stressed out right now. If you don't feel that way - lucky you - and you probably wouldn't benefit from reading this page - but you never know!!) Yes, of course, I go to that little room at the front of the house to try to escape from stress amongst other reasons! I'm lucky to be able to have the available space though - and I wish I had had it years ago before all the damage was done! :) It's a dirty word isn't it, "stress"? I doubt there is anybody on this planet who has never experienced it though. Course, the businessmen call it "stress" - women they term as having "anxiety". (Women are more likely to suffer - but are they? Is this simply because men don't admit to it as often, or seek advice??) Anyway, whatever, it's a wrecker!!

Everybody experiences some anxiety from time to time - meeting somebody new; going to the dentist; a job interview. It's normal to feel some fear - in fact, we, as a species would not have survived without this very important body mechanism. The feeling of digestive distress, heart pounding and the like are all designed to prepare our bodies to flee from something which is dangerous (wild animals etc) But, when these feelings are there for no apparent reason, then they become a darned nuisance!! This happens from time to time because all the stress in our lives builds up and gets on top of us. Goodness, have I suffered!! :) I've done the whole lot in the past - therapists, prescription drugs. Nothing has worked. I've read all sorts of advice. Some has just been downright silly and damaging even. Sort of along the lines of "perhaps you need to leave your husband/home/children/job" - which is absolute BUNK! Perhaps you feel like you might like to, but it is very rarely feasible or even wise. I wonder how many marriages have unnecessarily ended in divorce because some shrink has said it would make he or she feel better? In truth, whatever it is that is stressing us, be it normal relationship problems; money worries; job insecurity - whatever, it is not usually possible to do enough about our fears and worries over that subject, to alleviate them altogether. Therefore, it's down to us to cope with them as best as possible. This means that we must learn to relax more and to try to take things in our stride. Learn to like yourself a little more and find time for yourself. Learn to say "no". Learn, above all, that there is not something wrong with you or odd about you if you feel occasionally anxious - and don't be afraid to mention it. Chances are that out of, say, a room of 10 people at a party, that 8 of them will be feeling the same as you! :) Anyway, here are a few things which might help.

FIND YOURSELF SOME SPACE If it's possible, try to do similar to like I have; i.e. build yourself a little niche far from the maddening crowd! It doesn't have to be a room - it could be a corner of any quiet room - or a garden shed even! Make of your space whatever you like. Use your imagination; be artistic! Ideally (imo), there should be no telephone, television - or even clock in this room. I have a hi-fi and a typewriter (for when I write my novel!) in mine, but apart from that, there's nothing to interfere with my peace - certainly not a computer!! Let other people in the house know that you don't want to be disturbed for a while. Don't make it for too long a period - or the relief you will get from these quiet sojourns will lose it's effectiveness. Anyway, you never know, your family might actually miss you!! I have my room split into kinda two. One half has deep blue walls and this is where I light incense, candles etc and where I have the kind of "spiritual" aspects to the room - fairy stencils on the wall even!! The other side is painted sunny yellow. This is so that it will, hopefully, make me feel I am in sunny place, even on a dark winter's day. Much depression is caused by the winter darkness (and the associated lack of sunlight) and it is a good idea to try to transport ourselves to a brighter place from time to time! In this area, I have things like North American Indian artefacts - cacti - Mediterranean pots - things like that. If you want music, try something soothing. In my case, I like piano concertos - but sometimes feel equally relaxed by listening to some light rock music. It's all down to the individual and to their taste. For reading matter I have travel books, humorous books and whimsy books, like fairy stories and myths and legends. Again, individual taste. I have a refreshment tray too! A kettle with a selection of decaff coffee and tea - dried milk, sugar . . . But we are not all fortunate enough to be able to pamper ourselves so well. Try to grab yourself a little peace and quiet and time to yourself every day, perhaps even just soaking in the bath! You will reap the benefits and so will those around you.

EXERCISE, EAT PROPERLY, RELAX It's true that exercise is the body's natural tranquilliser. Chemicals are created which react with the brain to calm us. Even if you don't feel like it - do try it - it can work miracles!! You don't have to be running miles every day to achieve benefit - try just gentle jogging - or yoga. I have a webpage where I have a whole routine of yoga exercises if you'd like to try them! Also, on this page I have typed out the entire content of a relaxation hypnosis tape which you could dictate onto a tape of your own (using your voice or anybody else willing to do it for you.). Now to be really boring!! You shouldn't smoke for starters. Far from *really* being a relaxant, nicotine causes your heart to pound and your blood-pressure to rise. Likewise with alcohol. It seems like it's relaxing you at the time - but (well we all know this one, eh?) the next day can sometimes feel like you've died overnight!! If you like a drink (and I do for sure) then *TRY* to keep it to a maximum of two units per day. Only more on special occasions. Try to cut out all caffeine from your diet also. That means coffee, tea and cola. There are decaffeinated versions of all of these beverages - so try them! You will feel better for it, I guarantee! The reason why women suffer more from these problems is because of their hormones. PMS and the ten years or so prior to menopause are particularly known troublesome times. This is where good diet comes in! Hypoglaecemia can cause all manner of nervous problems. It's not just diabetics who have problems in this area. When the blood sugar levels drop too low, we feel jittery, unable to cope - sometimes faint. It is important (as athletes do) to keep the body topped up with carbohydrate. This can take the form of bread, pasta, rice, fruit, vegetable - even fruit juice. But it shouldn't (really!) come in the form of sugar or chocolate or any other junk food. The reason for this is that these "foods" quickly raise the blood sugar levels to a "high" - but before you know it (sometimes less than 20 minutes) your blood sugar plumets to even lower than it was before! Complex carbohydrates don't do that. Their benefit is kind of stored and utilised over a long time period. For women suffering from PMS, it is advised (and it works!) that they eat a small snack (cracker and cheese; sandwich; piece of fruit) every 3 hours to keep their blood sugar levels topped up. Another thing which can wreak havoc with our nerves is the way we breathe - including dizziness, faintness, feeling of unreality and tingling sensations. When we are nervous or anxious, we tend to shallow breathe, that is we breathe quickly through the upper part of our chest. Much more beneficial is to breathe abdominally. Instructions on how to do that can be found on my yoga page amongst others. It's possible that, if you have anxiety symptoms, that they are caused more from the way you are breathing than actually from the anxiety itself.

LINKS As I've said in my "disclaimer", I am not an expert or professional on this subject and all the things I have written about on this page are purely things that I have learnt myself and think might benefit others. The links below are for general things only - such as room stencils, yoga exercises etc - nothing of a real medical nature; I don't want to send people down the wrong route. I am also uneasy about suggesting things like "anxiety web forums". Though undoubtedly they can be useful, I fear they may sometimes actually make matters worse. But that is just my opinion. Sometimes it's nice to share our problems - but with problems such as these, they can become compounded with "suggestions" and by other peoples' stresses. If you want to share with others, there are plenty of such pages around however, but, personally, I think these things are best left off the web (I have a couple friends who might remind me of this! :)), if only for the fact that the internet should be a place to relax. Also, sometimes anxiety symptoms can be a sign of more serious problems or they can lead to a nasty bout of depression. You should always see your doctor. End of sermon!! There are actually very few links here right now - that's because most of the links which might be beneficial are already on one or other of my other pages around "my room", such as aromatherapy etc. I'll try to find some more! :) The Yoga Site Desktop Yoga! No excuses, you don't even have to move from your 'puter! Very good for RSI too. Moving pictures!! :) Visual Self Hypnosis. Cool!! Don't forget to press "start" or nothing happens!! Sounds of Nature - Relaxation Tapes Apollo Institute Hypnotherapy Relaxation Tapes Meditation - a very simple, single page. Stencil Style - check out their links and also use the forum if you think it might be useful More to come!